She doesn't know how much 'Two pieces of chicken & chips' costs - she only understands the pricing of chicken in bucket quantity.
...but she is just a normal, down-to-earth person, like us.
Cheryl Cole.
Everyone's favourite violent racist...except for black women, of course, who she attacks.
I wish she'd attack Diane Abbott.
'The judge called it "an unpleasant piece of drunken violence" for which Tweedy had shown "no remorse whatsoever".'
So please: keep lauding people such as Cheryl Cole - keep holding them up as exemplary: someone the young should aspire to be like; and keep lamenting the fact that people do bad things. After all: the two aren't connected, are they?
Ed Miliband.
Look at that fucking face - it's like a two-inch thick rubber mask that's been left in the sun for too long.
Monstrum in fronte, monstrum in animo ('Monster in face, monster in soul') as Nietzsche said.
And if Beaker from The Muppets had been made out of plastic, they'd be twins:
David Miliband.
Speaking of twins...
It's a good job this pair of fuckwits have different names: how else would you tell them apart?
Come to think of it, I don't know which one is the leader of their shitty little 'party' - or what difference it makes.
Tila Tequila.
She's erm...sexy.
In fact, the last thing I saw that was so sexy was a pile of meat I stapled together - and further degraded by plastering with various chemicals and adornments. The best two nights of my life was when I fucked that thing.
Looking at Ms Tequila here, I can't help but look forward to the next time I staple hair extensions to a beef topside.
Everybody involved, in any way, with the TV show 'Manswers'.
I really just want to give up on life when watching this show; it's less distressing to watch videos of the holocaust.
The cast of 'Jersey Shore'.
Did the producer/s of this show aim to cast a group of people who embody the worst attributes of Americans?
Are they waging psy-ops against the West, in order that we can't justify any complaints about the atrocities the muslims perpetrate against us? - Is this show intended as Osama Bin laden's mitigation, should he ever come to trial?*
'Cause if it is used for that purpose, i'd let him off, and give him as many planes as he wants.
Nick Hogan.
In another excellent instance of 'reaping what you sow', this fucktard was the subject of a 'reality show' on MTV, which obviously means that his behaviour is condoned by this corporation/society. He is also a symbol of success - what people should aspire to, and look to emulate.
So not only did his idiotic, irresponsible, selfish (fun) driving leave a man a vegetable...but he was made a celebrity prior to this, and this crime was part of a character very well-documented.
And then him and his dad - 'Hulk' Hogan - blamed the guy he turned into a vegetable.
I just don't see what hope society has when people who behave like this are held up as successes, rather than disgraces.
Charlie Brooker.
This man sold out in spectacular fashion, this year.
Charlie Brooker has a long history of a very high standard of cultural criticism: from the little-known - and unfortunately: unavailable on DVD - TVGoHome, to his immense collaboration with the brilliant Chris Morris on Nathan Barley, and his BBC series Screenwipe.
However, the bizarre, unaccountable announcement was made this year that he had married a vapid, conformist TV presenter: a woman named Konnie Huq, whose credits - in sharp contradistinction to Mr Brooker's - include Blue Peter, GMTV, Top of the Pops, and some pile of shit on The Disney Channel.
To those of a mind to appreciate the poignancy and relevance of his insights, and the stellar work he had done, through his writing, in arguing for a raising of standards in order to improve society, were galled and shocked to learn this: it seemed like a betrayal of his beliefs; a gross act of hypocrisy.
And it was.
Essentially, the case against him can be summed up this simply:
his wife's job is to provide a pretty face on TV shows; one month after they were married, she went and worked on a TV show called The X Factor.
- and his own words can be used to condemn him.
For his condemnation of 'vapid eye candy', see this clip, at four minutes in (presenter #3):
Charlie Brooker's condemnation of his future wife
'The sort of person you could be forgiven for thinking is only on the box because they look sort of nice.'
...or you were married to because they look sort of nice.
'The least meaningful job in the universe.'
And he married that!
So as if this wasn't bad enough - which it is - observe this critique he gave a few years back of The X Factor:
Charlie Brooker's Review of The X Factor
'A home for the mentally ill.
A futuristic fascist rally.
Nuremberg for dummies.'
My wife's employer.
And so it was: a month after they married, this was where she went and worked - pandering to the vermin who torment him so:
Konnie Huq getting friendly with Cheryl 'Violent Criminal' Cole.
Konnie Huq pathetically getting berated and humiliated by Dannii Minogue.
I thought this pathetic sell-out had done one semi-decent thing this year, and quit from ever commenting on, or judging, another human being - especially after I read his Screen Burn column (which reads as though his new best pal and overlord Simon Cowell edited it) announcing that he was quitting.
But the humiliated, stinking hypocrite has continued on - writing for The Guardian, and making his TV show!
It's uncomfortable to observe, and really offensive: the man's credibility is as distant a memory as military success must have been to Hitler in April 1945 - yet he still has the balls - the bold-faced shamelessness - to peddle this insincerity:
Charlie Brooker's 'Review of the Year'
#OustBrooker
*Osama Bin Laden was murdered by Barack Hussein Obama on 2nd May 2011.
