Skyline: An Exercise in Desperate, Impotent, Shameful Derivation.

Guilty parties:

Colin Strause; Greg Strause (aka: 'The Brothers Strause')
Joshua Cordes
Liam O'Donnell.

Accessories Before the Fact:

Man with Pubic Hair on Chin (aka: Pubes; aka: Eric Balfour)
Black Scrubs (aka: BS; aka: Donald Faison)
DCI BapTaster from Dexter (aka: David Zayas)
Piece of Ass #1 (aka: The Pregnant one, aka: Scottie Thompson)
Piece of Ass #2 (aka: The Blonde one, aka: Brittany Daniel)
Piece of Ass #3 (aka: The Slut, aka: Crystal Reed).

Films the Writers and Directors Have Seen:

Independence Day
War of the Worlds
Cloverfield
The Matrix 'Trilogy'

Plot:

Pubes goes to see Black Scrubs in 'LA'.
We are first introduced to Black Scrubs (henceforth: BS) as he drives an obnoxiously loud automobile, made by the Ferrari company, and listens to loud, banal 'hip-hop' music.
In terms of formulating crude, offensive stereotypes, which instantly enrage and repulse the viewer, 'The Brothers Strause' are up there with Julius Streicher and Josef Goebbels. I'm sure their parents are very proud of their creative talent their money.

So BS is an abhorrence - a pollutant on the face of the planet - the archetypal 'Turd in the Punchbowl'.
Pubes and Piece of Ass #1 go to see this arch-conformist - the kind of man who you see, and think: 'Maybe Al-Qaeda does have a point after all...' - on his birthday.
Turns out Pubes and BS go way back, and although BS has quite obviously now 'made it' (after all, nothing says 'achieved your purpose in life' than the possession of material wealth...), Pubes is 'getting by' back in wherever the fuck they're from...

However, in spite of BS displaying the garish behaviour I have described, and additionally: living in 'The Penthouse', and being married to Piece of Ass #2, who has - like all the other characters - the depth of a cardboard cut-out, he really is a nice guy.
His 'niceness' is made clear to us - the distraught viewers - via his bland, sterile, one-dimensional repartee with Pubes, and his fucking Piece of Ass #3 in a bathroom - behind his evil wife's back.
I made the word 'evil' bold there so that you, Dear Reader, know that it is factually correct that you can mistreat others if you first designate them as evil, Jewish, or wicked.
I know that I started to root for The Slut and BS against that evil Jewess as soon as The Brothers Goebbels implied - with all the subtlety of Joey Barton expressing his anger towards you - that I should hate her, and she was going to get her come-uppance.


So these turds are all hanging about in 'The Penthouse', partying for BS's birthday; then they fall asleep, and are woken by bright blue lights outside.
I mean, by this point, it is abundantly clear that the acting is of a calibre too low-brow and demeaning to get the Perpetrators roles in The Matrix 2 (if they were casting that film, and watching 'SkyShite' in order to get suitable recruits for it).
Anyway, they start walking around 'The Penthouse' in their underwear - which really began to grate after another twenty minutes of them not getting dressed -, whining about the situation, and saying stuff in such a manner that I really couldn't have cared less if they were removed from existence - indeed: I was actively willing that they would be.

...remind me: what is the purpose of acting, and entertainment?


So the mechanism by which 'The Aliens' come to earth is an obvious rip-off of that Steven Spielberg/Tom Cruise shitpiece War of the Worlds.
The 'glowing' shit on 'The Aliens' and 'The Spaceships' is a direct rip-off of Independence Day - as is the lame little battle between the planes and 'The Spaceship', where a nuclear missile is fired at 'The Spaceship', only to see it ineffective.
Erm....the shitty little aliens that go into apartments and look for people are a direct - and offensively obvious - rip-off of War of the Worlds, and The Matrix.


Anyway, while The Idiots are 'partying', BapTaster knocks on the door, asking them to be quiet - thereby establishing him as a man who works at the hotel, and so knows what he is doing when things are happening in the vicinity (i.e., he knows where every broom-closet, and mop-and-bucket, is).
This is a very subtle, but very important, bit of film-making, and really cements, for me, the reputation of 'The Brothers Strause'. What visionaries! That Shakespeare is dead, and cannot compose odes to these men; Alas!


Yeah: so BapTaster links up with the various Pieces of Ass, and Pubes, and they stay in 'The Penthouse' - as per BapTaster's recommendations: he is, after all, a trained hotel employee; they don't give that stupid fucking hat to anybody...you have to complete an hour's training first - you could get incorrectly bleached toilets otherwise.
They dick around in there for a bit, acting like jerk-offs who don't want you to like them, be interested in them, or live in a world in which they are not only permitted to live, but positively thrive.
Then various events, which are so banal and vigour-sapping that I cannot be brought to describe them (it is hard for me to believe that somebody actually did so, put their name to the document, and distributed it - let alone that a bunch of halfwits once stood around, with the backing of millions of dollars, and discussed how best to portray them on film), occur.


As a result of these events, BapTaster turns on the gas, puts a cigarette in his mouth, and holds up a lighter.
Now re-read that.


Obviously the man intends to smoke the cigarette: it's in his mouth, and that means that he intends to smoke it; so too does the fact that he is holding a lighter.
However, the gas is on...

If the gas is on, and you use a lighter, an explosion will occur; if an explosion occurs, you will be killed; if you are killed, you cannot smoke a cigarette.

So people who don't realise this logical absurdity are rich, and have the backing of other incredibly rich (and therefore powerful) people - and The People of the most advanced human civilisation to ever exist laud such efforts.
I see...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDrgwZsGC9A